Faux Pas

short stories collection - a compilation of my short stories.

Summary

“Hey sexy, how’re you?”
“Don’t you fuck with me, I saw you with the bitch.”
“Ah, come on honey, it was just a joke.”
“A joke? I’m your fucking wife asshole. You think your fucking funny don’t you. Look at my face, am I laughing. No, I’m not? That’s what I thought.”


A look at a couple who have no social grace.

“Hey sexy, how’re you?”

“Don’t you fuck with me, I saw you with the bitch.”

“Ah, come on honey, it was just a joke.”

“A joke? I’m your fucking wife asshole. You think your fucking funny don’t you. Look at my face, am I laughing. No, I’m not? That’s what I thought.”

“Baby, baby, calm down, it was only for a night, no worries.”

“No worries until the bitch calls asking for child support.”

“Don’t sweat it, the company would pay for it anyhow.”

“Oh, so now it’ll be the company’s problem again? What is this, the sixth time you’ve used them to bail you out of trouble. You think we got married so your god damn company could resolve everything for you?”

“I don’t have time for this, I have a meeting soon.”

“What, a meeting with your bitch. But then again, that’s just like you, just walking away from the problem. Get out of the house you prick.”

“Honey, we’re in the hotel.”

“What brilliant rhetoric, just get the hell out.”

So, another argument, another day in the life of a highly paid business man. These wives have no idea the hardship we have to go through; I mean at some of the meetings, we sometimes don’t even get hot coffee, who the hell wants to drink cold coffee? It was hard times, they had cut back on my wage by a couple million dollars, can you imagine–what blasphemy!–stupid liberals trying to ride corporations of generous gift packages. I knocked down the blue framed picture of me and my wife as I left, let’s see what she thinks about that.

“I’ll just pick that up dearest.”

Stupid sarcastic bitch always ruining all my fun. I started to close the door behind me, but heard a soft sniffling sound, then a loud wail. Dumb bitch thinks I still fall for the sobbing card, to bad for her I’ve grown immune for it. I would go talk to her, after all she is my wife, but no time for intelligent debate, no time for second guessing and no time for annoying wives, I have another plane to catch.

-biafra
bahanonu [at] alum.mit.edu

more articles to enjoy:

an exhaustive search for the truth
18 april 2014 | short story

The project had started out with a simple question: would it be faster to assemble complete knowledge about all truths past, present, and f[...]uture through scientific inquiry or via brute force computation?

why you should watch black mirror
29 november 2015 | television

Black Mirror is a unique and ever timely experience. The vignettes are spot on and while each explores a different aspect of our interactio[...]n with technology, the internet, and social media, there is an underlying dystopian view of the world that unifies the whole series. Watch it.

filugori reboot
15 may 2012 | filugori

Several months ago I took a hard look at Filugori: The Long Tale, the story I started in grade school that was meant to be a mash-[...]up of my favorite books and fictional universes. However, it lacked a certain vision. The story was fun, frantic and fanciful, but there was no heart. It lacked cohesion and the universe did not appear to justify its own existence. Why should someone care to read this tale? What would they gain from it? While fleshing out the background of the universe, providing details on the four major epochs that define the story, I came to realize that I wanted to tell a very different tale than originally planned.

why you should watch black mirror
29 november 2015 | television

Black Mirror is a unique and ever timely experience. The vignettes are spot on and while each explores a different aspect of our interactio[...]n with technology, the internet, and social media, there is an underlying dystopian view of the world that unifies the whole series. Watch it.

©2006-2018 | biafra ahanonu | updated 02 january 2018
biafra ahanonu