Faux Pas

short stories collection - a compilation of my short stories.

Summary

“Hey sexy, how’re you?”
“Don’t you fuck with me, I saw you with the bitch.”
“Ah, come on honey, it was just a joke.”
“A joke? I’m your fucking wife asshole. You think your fucking funny don’t you. Look at my face, am I laughing. No, I’m not? That’s what I thought.”


A look at a couple who have no social grace.

“Hey sexy, how’re you?”

“Don’t you fuck with me, I saw you with the bitch.”

“Ah, come on honey, it was just a joke.”

“A joke? I’m your fucking wife asshole. You think your fucking funny don’t you. Look at my face, am I laughing. No, I’m not? That’s what I thought.”

“Baby, baby, calm down, it was only for a night, no worries.”

“No worries until the bitch calls asking for child support.”

“Don’t sweat it, the company would pay for it anyhow.”

“Oh, so now it’ll be the company’s problem again? What is this, the sixth time you’ve used them to bail you out of trouble. You think we got married so your god damn company could resolve everything for you?”

“I don’t have time for this, I have a meeting soon.”

“What, a meeting with your bitch. But then again, that’s just like you, just walking away from the problem. Get out of the house you prick.”

“Honey, we’re in the hotel.”

“What brilliant rhetoric, just get the hell out.”

So, another argument, another day in the life of a highly paid business man. These wives have no idea the hardship we have to go through; I mean at some of the meetings, we sometimes don’t even get hot coffee, who the hell wants to drink cold coffee? It was hard times, they had cut back on my wage by a couple million dollars, can you imagine–what blasphemy!–stupid liberals trying to ride corporations of generous gift packages. I knocked down the blue framed picture of me and my wife as I left, let’s see what she thinks about that.

“I’ll just pick that up dearest.”

Stupid sarcastic bitch always ruining all my fun. I started to close the door behind me, but heard a soft sniffling sound, then a loud wail. Dumb bitch thinks I still fall for the sobbing card, to bad for her I’ve grown immune for it. I would go talk to her, after all she is my wife, but no time for intelligent debate, no time for second guessing and no time for annoying wives, I have another plane to catch.

-biafra
bahanonu [at] alum.mit.edu

©2006-2017 | biafra ahanonu | updated 12 december 2017
biafra ahanonu